a post by kath

I just came from going to the washroom, which although is the same thing you do everywhere- is very different from waltzing into a comfortable and relaxing room to “do your buisness” in. When I push open the door slowly into the guest bathroom I quickly look around for a rat first, and if that is clear, I look for the huge spider (about 2.5 inches from one end to the other) living somewhere in the bathroom, then the lizzard who also lives in the bathroom... once it’s clear I try and wee as fast as possible, as I squat over the toilet (because there is no toilet seat to be comfortable on, probably because there wasn’t the $15 needed for the seat at the time) I remember and am thankful for all the times I could sit with ease in warmth, with a toilet seat and no creatures in sight, because who wants to be watched while in that private place right! Now the bathroom is not dirty, these creatures just stay around here I guess.
Anyway, I have had a very grumpy day today, I guess I have been feeling sick too so that probably contributes, I think it is also because it’s cold and I cant find my hoody without ripping open all our bags again that I nicely put away last night, so I just opted to be cold then mess up the whole room again to find “that thing I cant find anywhere, but swear we packed!”. That happens about three times a day, goes something like this... “VINJ! WHERES THE TYLENOL!?” “I dont know.... look in the black bag”... “ITS NOT THERE!”... “try the grey bag then” , “ITS NOT THRE!”- and so it goes until we have looked in all 7 bags and come out with NO TYLENOL! But I know it’s there somewhere. So all those precious little things I cant find I surely hope they show up when we unpack into our house. Another thing making me grumpy was the holiday happening in Zambia on monday and Tuesday this week... we are in a crunch time to get out of the guest room and into our house, and TWO DAYS OF NO SHOPS OPEN is setting us back ALOT! It’s a city of 2 MILLION PLUS, but everyone STILL SHUTS DOWN! AYSH! Anyway, so... I am getting over that, because tomorrow we are off early in the morning to get some things we are needing for the house, and lets hope they are opening bright and early.
One more thing I will complain about - but no more on the list I promise after this, I was feeling sick like I said and after a fairly unproductive morning in town I came home wanting to crawl into a hole away from everything, so I laid on the bed, and low and behold everyone on the base gathered where we always do, on the stairs in front of the guest room door... and chatted and laughed, really where I could have been enjoying with them, but I wanted to just lay down and escape I guess... so I laid there grumpy and wishing I could escape into comfort. Eventually I fell asleep for a while which was nice. Now as I write this I am ALONE, I didn’t have a kid in my arms, mine or someone else! WOW! I am not sure what Seth is doing now, but he is finally not clinging to me, and I had a moment to come and write, and am listening to some of my favorite songs. The one that is on now is called “Small enough” By Nicole Nordeman, talking about God seeing me, the first line is “oh GREAT God be small enough to hear me now”, and dont we often think of God like this... in some ways I have been feeling like this, another line is “ tonight I do not need a firey pillar in the sky, I just want to know you’re going to hold me when I start to cry, oh Great God be small enough to hear me now”.
And I know He is, and that is the truth. I know He sees me, and I also know HE is more then enough of everything I need. And how amazing it is to live out the gospel here in Zambia, no big fancy story as of yet, but loving people is great isn’t it. I wish I could just instantly speak Nyanja, there are so many women I would LOVE to just sit and have tea with, but I know they don’t understand half of my nyanja because I am probably getting all the grammer wrong in my sentence, and then they only understand %40 of my english... so makes for alot of misunderstanding, or no understanding : ) haha. I am learning new things everyday though, but I cant wait to actually know what people are totally saying and be able to talk back.
I think I am some how looking into some of their eyes looking for my best friend... I so want a close friend like that here, makes being away from all my great friends so much easier. I haven’t found that kindred spirit yet, but I know I will. The funny thing was in Canada I started hanging out with Andrea from wetaskiwin I found such a kindred spirit in her and we left only 2 months later! SO SAD! But I know that can happened anywhere, so I will keep on the lookout for such a friend. I think supper is very soon, so I will need to go now, I think it should be good, most nights it is good... oh there goes the bell. Talk to you all another time.

Kath