a post by kath

I just came from going to the washroom, which although is the same thing you do everywhere- is very different from waltzing into a comfortable and relaxing room to “do your buisness” in. When I push open the door slowly into the guest bathroom I quickly look around for a rat first, and if that is clear, I look for the huge spider (about 2.5 inches from one end to the other) living somewhere in the bathroom, then the lizzard who also lives in the bathroom... once it’s clear I try and wee as fast as possible, as I squat over the toilet (because there is no toilet seat to be comfortable on, probably because there wasn’t the $15 needed for the seat at the time) I remember and am thankful for all the times I could sit with ease in warmth, with a toilet seat and no creatures in sight, because who wants to be watched while in that private place right! Now the bathroom is not dirty, these creatures just stay around here I guess.
Anyway, I have had a very grumpy day today, I guess I have been feeling sick too so that probably contributes, I think it is also because it’s cold and I cant find my hoody without ripping open all our bags again that I nicely put away last night, so I just opted to be cold then mess up the whole room again to find “that thing I cant find anywhere, but swear we packed!”. That happens about three times a day, goes something like this... “VINJ! WHERES THE TYLENOL!?” “I dont know.... look in the black bag”... “ITS NOT THERE!”... “try the grey bag then” , “ITS NOT THRE!”- and so it goes until we have looked in all 7 bags and come out with NO TYLENOL! But I know it’s there somewhere. So all those precious little things I cant find I surely hope they show up when we unpack into our house. Another thing making me grumpy was the holiday happening in Zambia on monday and Tuesday this week... we are in a crunch time to get out of the guest room and into our house, and TWO DAYS OF NO SHOPS OPEN is setting us back ALOT! It’s a city of 2 MILLION PLUS, but everyone STILL SHUTS DOWN! AYSH! Anyway, so... I am getting over that, because tomorrow we are off early in the morning to get some things we are needing for the house, and lets hope they are opening bright and early.
One more thing I will complain about - but no more on the list I promise after this, I was feeling sick like I said and after a fairly unproductive morning in town I came home wanting to crawl into a hole away from everything, so I laid on the bed, and low and behold everyone on the base gathered where we always do, on the stairs in front of the guest room door... and chatted and laughed, really where I could have been enjoying with them, but I wanted to just lay down and escape I guess... so I laid there grumpy and wishing I could escape into comfort. Eventually I fell asleep for a while which was nice. Now as I write this I am ALONE, I didn’t have a kid in my arms, mine or someone else! WOW! I am not sure what Seth is doing now, but he is finally not clinging to me, and I had a moment to come and write, and am listening to some of my favorite songs. The one that is on now is called “Small enough” By Nicole Nordeman, talking about God seeing me, the first line is “oh GREAT God be small enough to hear me now”, and dont we often think of God like this... in some ways I have been feeling like this, another line is “ tonight I do not need a firey pillar in the sky, I just want to know you’re going to hold me when I start to cry, oh Great God be small enough to hear me now”.
And I know He is, and that is the truth. I know He sees me, and I also know HE is more then enough of everything I need. And how amazing it is to live out the gospel here in Zambia, no big fancy story as of yet, but loving people is great isn’t it. I wish I could just instantly speak Nyanja, there are so many women I would LOVE to just sit and have tea with, but I know they don’t understand half of my nyanja because I am probably getting all the grammer wrong in my sentence, and then they only understand %40 of my english... so makes for alot of misunderstanding, or no understanding : ) haha. I am learning new things everyday though, but I cant wait to actually know what people are totally saying and be able to talk back.
I think I am some how looking into some of their eyes looking for my best friend... I so want a close friend like that here, makes being away from all my great friends so much easier. I haven’t found that kindred spirit yet, but I know I will. The funny thing was in Canada I started hanging out with Andrea from wetaskiwin I found such a kindred spirit in her and we left only 2 months later! SO SAD! But I know that can happened anywhere, so I will keep on the lookout for such a friend. I think supper is very soon, so I will need to go now, I think it should be good, most nights it is good... oh there goes the bell. Talk to you all another time.

Kath

The last Week

Last Saturday we packed up the kids and met Tobi and Chuma to go to baby Vinjs grave sight. It was so sad... not only his grave but hundreds of fresh abby graves spreading over the land. There wasnt much to say, there really is no hope in it, He died and the hope born with his life is gone, and sometimes that is just life. It was so sad thinking of all the dreams we had for him and the moments we couldn’t wait to share with him, are gone forever, which is so hard to except. The hardest part was when Seth put his little toy story book on the grave and I lost it thinking of all the things Seth and baby vinj were going to have share. After putting flowers and having some moments to think and cry we went to the bak of our car and had a picnic. It was a good day, and I was glad we shared it with Tobi.
Sunday we brought Tobi and chuma to arcades were tobi was meeting his new boss and would be off to Samfia a wapping 800 km from lusaka, very far from us. So we spent the morning together, then said goodbye, I was sad for Seth because he had bonded very quickly with uncle tobi and was yet again saying goodbye to an uncle (selfish I know).
Monday to Friday we were in class with the Students doing a school on the YWAm base facilitating the teaching on relationships. It was a good week in that sense. After class everyday we either went into the hardare shops to pick up supplies or were working on the house. I hope to post video and pictures of the development.
Saturday, which was yesterday we worked all day, and almost got one of the doors in, but will probably go in today, the metal door frame was a little bent... Andreas our friend from Switzerland and I started laying the red brick for the counter tops to sit on.
Today is Sunday, and we are actually at church right now, it’s been almost 2 hours and the service is still going, Seth was finding it hard to be still and quiet anymore so I am in the car with him until church is done, writing this! : )
Church here is so hard sometimes, today the pastor is preaching about God giving you what ever you ask for because he loves you, and it just doesnt go with the gospel I have experience and know. I know the Jesus that said LOVE you enemies, BLESS those who persecute you, When you gain your life you loose it, when you LOOSE your life you will find it. That our plans are not Gods plans, and our thoughts are not Gods thoughs... it just doesnt go with what he has been preahcing for 1.5 hours, the people are into it, it’a all a prosparity gospel, like christianity is 1 +1... you become a christian and you get anything you want.... nice car, pregnancy.... so what about people who dont get pregnant or don’t have a BMW! I honestly was glad for the break with Seth, I was tired of hearing Gods word twisted.
Vinj and I are still hoping to find a church home, but so far not really feeling it. Maybe we will plant a church... (anyone interested?)

We will probably be moving into the house by July 12 I would think, this is hoping!
So far it is just still settling on the base and getting the house done. Look on facebook for photos and videos, hoping to get them on there today!

I always try to remember the funny stories from the week, but I always end up forgetting! There is one the other day, vinj and I were at a big hardware store outfront, vinj went inside to buy our doors and try and get some cement, and there were three “loiterers” standing infront looking at me and the kids openly and saying quietly in Nyanja, “is it her husband, or her driver?” “no he’s her driver” ... and so one, I turned and looked at them and said “he’s my husband” also in nyanja and I told them to look at my kids! ... and they were like Oh.... pretty embarrassed, they asked if I speak Nyanja and I said yes (which isn’t really true... but they stopped talking about me and vinj)
This is unfortunately one of the things vinj was not looking forward to people not respecting him because they think he is my worker or something, but it is alot better this time with our obviously mixed kids.

Thats all for now.

Vinj will write here soon, he has been so busy working on the house though! You will hear from him at some point.